Damon: Vampires eat people! It's part of the natural food period.

Damon [on Elena]: You better hope she's not a fan of Bambi.

Damon: I'm going to pretend like there's someone there because the alternative is too damn depressing.

Damon: Pick your meal. You've got Asian fusion... Mexican... What about some good old American comfort food?

Damon: Am I wearing my 'I blew up the Council' t-shirt?

Damon: I'm gonna go rip his head off now.
Stefan: You do that, Damon, and you risk exposing all of us.
Damon: Well I think the risk will be slightly diminished when I, you know, rip his head off.

Damon: Little mid-service snack. Church always gets me hungry. You know, whole blood of Christ thing.

Damon: We love visitors and the scenery is to die for... Oh. Funeral pun. Too soon.